A Perfect Day

A trip through a day so perfect I wish we all could have one whenever we most need it.

I have noticed many of my friends are currently dealing with loss and illness in themselves or others. I have banked several weeks of that myself, and it’s been tough to keep the faith and keep moving forward. I had a wonderful day – no, a perfect day – and I wanted to tell everyone about it. I’m hoping the soothing vibes of this day will help give you a moment of your own peace, if even just for the few minutes it takes to read this.

I woke up this morning a bit disoriented because the sun had just crested the horizon, and my clock confirmed it was just after 7:00 a.m. It weirded me out because I had fallen asleep just before midnight and had not been roused from my sleep by the dog next door barking at a mystery sound or by my aging bladder insisting on a trip or three to the bathroom. I had achieved almost eight hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep; a rarity and a joy. I smiled as I flashed on a dream I’d had that featured me rolling around on a king-sized bed with Jason Momoa. I pulled on my oversized Stevie Nicks t-shirt a friend gave me that hung down to my knees and began my day.

A woman who worked for a housecleaning service that offered a free deep cleaning for new customers rang my doorbell, exactly on time for our appointment, and I handed her an impressive To-Do list. While she stripped my bed and put on the fancy 500-thread count sheets I found on sale for $20, I pulled breakfast out of the oven. A Swedish scientist had discovered a way to make cinnamon rolls good enough to make your sweet old granny rage with jealousy that had zero calories or carbs, and I polished off three while staring out the picture window at the sunrise.

My phone chirped and I read a text from a friend. She had gotten her latest test results, and her doctor declared her cancer-free. I cheered and replied to her message with about 17 heart emojis. 

After I popped out of the shower, I stood naked in front of the mirror and thought I saw someone else’s image because I could swear I had lost some of my wrinkles overnight. I rubbed my forearm over the foggy glass and grinned like a mad woman to see that I must have judged myself too harshly these past couple of years. Seized by a rush of joy, I grabbed my cat and danced around the bedroom with her. Wait a minute. My knees aren’t screaming at me. In fact, I felt rather limber for the first time in ages. 

I couldn’t bring myself to start work just yet. While the vacuum whirred around the house, I sunk back in my new super-sized recliner, sipped on a mimosa, and dug into a new novel I’d put off cracking open. When the housekeeper left, I pulled on shorts buried in my dresser under a couple of winter shirts and found a 20-dollar bill in the pocket. Isn’t found money the best surprise?

I logged into Slack at work, only to find a message to the entire department telling us to take a Mental Health Day and spend 24 hours not thinking about deadlines and Zoom meetings. Ha! No problem.

On impulse, I drove to the Yankee Candle store and found a sale so monstrous that I carried two giant bulging heavyweight paper bags full of goodies to my car. On my way out of the parking lot, I saw the movie theater marquee advertising a Grease sing-along feature that started in ten minutes. I parked, shrieked when I found my best friend in line for tickets and spent the early afternoon in the 1950s celebrating summer lovin’. Had me a blast.

I picked up a gooey New York-style cheese pizza from a deli on the way home and put away a slice while looking at the postcard a friend had sent from Tahiti. The sight of pristine water and a sandy beach made me decide to book a long weekend on the Texas coast next month and get swept away by the warmth of the Gulf of Mexico.

Time for a mid-afternoon nap. I turned the a/c on high, put a playlist of classical piano music on low, and tucked myself and my cat under the covers. Two hours later, we both crawled out of bed yawning and stretching. Hey, where did my lower back pain go? I bent over and touched my toes like a ballerina without making old lady noises. Nice!

I went to the dryer to pull out last night’s load and found that the housecleaner had already folded everything neatly and stacked it in a basket. I felt like a pampered princess. 

I rarely spent time in my yard but chose to settle into the Adirondack chair on my front porch and just be still. The spring breeze lifted my hair around my face while I watched a hummingbird hover near a flowering bush. I heard birds chirping in the distance and felt the soft fur of a raccoon out for an early stroll. I felt victorious as he rubbed against my leg while I scratched his head and neck. 

UPS dropped off a package with the tie-dye t-shirt and short set I ordered. I twirled in front of the mirror and admired how my new outfit fit perfectly and the material felt velvety-smooth. 

My phone sprang to life with a call from my gynecologist’s office. “Did you hear?” the receptionist said. “About the detachable vagina? We’re calling all our patients to tell them it’s been patented and is on the market now. You buy this clip device and it removes your, ya know, vajayjay, and you drop it off at our office. No more invasive exams in a paper dress. It’s painless and just takes a few seconds to work. You pick your junk back up after a couple of hours. You can get it at IKEA. I’ll email you a coupon.” Wow, a DetachVag. This day just keeps getting better!

My friend called to invite me to an impromptu pasta and garlic bread dinner with her sisters, and I happily accepted. We laughed and drained a bottle of wine while we filled her kitchen with steam from the boiling pasta pots. The ladies had also discovered the line of Swedish scientist’s food, and we ate with abandon. Over chocolate chip pecan cookies still warm from the oven, we went to work on the scratch-off tickets our hostess provided as party favors. Everyone screamed with delight when my ticket revealed I had won $10,000!

I returned home and planned to fall asleep basking in the glow that came with the ending of a perfect day. I rubbed the lavender-scented lotion I purchased online from a posh London shop on my hands and arms and climbed into bed. Before I could turn off the lamp, the muted sound of music grabbed my attention. I paused a few moments and let the familiar rhythm sink in. I crossed the room, opened the curtain, and my eyes settled on a figure in my driveway. There stood the sweet, handsome rogue I went on a couple of dates with recently but couldn’t decide if he lacked a real interest in me or was just shy. He wore a trench coat and held a giant boombox with both hands over his head. In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel poured from the speakers…